Unforgiveness

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Unforgiveness Part Deux

Published June 5, 2011 | By Cornel

Apparently my last post on unforgiveness has ruffled a few feathers. I think some people have misread what I intended to say so I am writing this to clarify and explain a few points. There are people who somehow read the article and thought I was saying that we do not need to forgive others or that forgiveness is unimportant. I honestly don’t know how they read that in what I wrote. I was not addressing the motivation behind unforgiveness, nor the motivation for forgiveness.

All I was trying to say is that in light of the cross and the forgiveness provided through Jesus, if anybody preaches a message to you that says God is witholding forgiveness because you aren’t forgiving somebody, that they are wrong. God is not witholding forgiveness from anybody because He sent Jesus to to provide forgiveness to all mankind. “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.” Jesus came to take away the sin of the world. That is forgiveness. When somebody stands behind a pulpit and says God wont forgive you until you do this and that and forgive every person, they are preaching a works-based message of self-righteous salvation which is totally anti-Christ. If your forgiveness were merely based on you forgiving others, then why did Jesus need to die for you? Jesus + your ability to forgive is not the gospel. The gospel is Jesus, Jesus + nothing.

I do not forgive in order to be forgiven, I believe in Jesus for that. Because He has forgiven me, I forgive. Forgiveness is something that needs to be received before it can be properly extended. I would not be able to forgive any person fully if it were not for the fact that I had received God’s forgiveness first. Whether or not you choose to forgive anybody who has wronged you, does not take away from the fact that Jesus died for you and forgave you already. God decided to forgive mankind through Jesus’ sacrifice whether you forgive others or not. Your ability to forgive in no way influences Jesus’ sacrifice because He died 2000 years before you were even born. God’s plan for forgiveness and salvation does not pivot around your ability to forgive others. He planned and executed His redemption mission without your help, thank God. “He has reconciled the world to Himself in Christ.” Just like your choice to forgive somebody who wronged you is not influenced by them in anyway. It is your choice, you decide to forgive or not and the person whom you forgive should not even be a determining factor in whether you forgive or not. You should determine that. You decide to extend forgiveness towards them despite the fact that they don’t deserve it, just like God extended forgiveness toward you despite the fact that you didn’t deserve it. If you wait for them to apologize before you forgive, you didn’t really forgive, you just accepted their apology. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” He didn’t wait for you to apologize, He took the first step, in fact He took all the steps.

If you have something against anybody, forgive them as God forgave you. Freely. If you choose to not forgive them, you are the one who chooses to live with emotional garbage that God does not want you to live with. Unforgiveness is nothing more than a spiteful selfish reaction to rejection, a pity-party for one. If your unforgiving toward anybody, get over yourself and extend some love and grace. I don’t mean to be insensitive toward anybody’s feelings, so if you are still hurting, its probably a good idea to forgive anyway because making the choice to forgive despite your hurt feelings is the first step to letting go of those feelings. “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” You decide whether or not your heart is troubled. Deciding to forgive is deciding to not let your heart be troubled, so just do it.

In love,

Cornel

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Posted in Unforgiveness | 6 Comments

The Sin of Unforgiveness?

Published June 3, 2011 | By Cornel

I am sure you have heard this statement before: “You are harbouring unforgiveness in your heart. If you don’t forgive, God wont forgive you either.” Yesterday I was pondering this absurdity when suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. Since unforgiveness is a sin, and God won’t forgive me for harbouring it, then by doing so God Himself is harbouring unforgiveness towards me and is Himself committing a sin. If you were to think your theology all the way through on this topic, you would soon realize it presents a catch 22 situation for both parties.

Some of you might say, ‘But God is God and this doesn’t apply to Him. His ways are higher than our ways.’ Fortunately one thing Jesus utterly hated was hypocrisy so you can’t say God is God and this doesn’t apply to Him. How could God hold you accountable for an action deemed a sin if He Himself were committing it? So bottom line, if God for some reason were to not forgive you, He would be committing the sin of unforgiveness. There are no two ways about it. Now, since we know that God is without sin, it logically stands to reason that He is not harbouring unforgiveness towards any person, saved or not. Hopefully you realize what this means. If He is not keeping forgiveness from us, it means He has forgiven us already.

Now think about this in terms of asking God to forgive you as many people still believe and teach we need to do day after day. By asking God to forgive you, you are actually indirectly accusing God of harbouring unforgiveness towards you. You might as well say, “Although Jesus died, apparently His death did not provide me with enough forgiveness since I need to still find more by begging and grovelling.” Do you know what that implies? It means you don’t believe Jesus forgave you, which would make you an unbeliever. So asking God for forgiveness is to accuse Him of sin and confessing that you don’t believe in Jesus. Slippery slope this unforgiveness business.

You were forgiven before you were even born because the sacrifice for your sin was offered once for all. Instead of acting in unbelief and asking for forgiveness, act in faith and thank Jesus for what He Has done already.

In grace,

Cornel

Update: Some people have obviously misread what I was trying to say here. Please refer to Part Deux for more…

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Posted in Unforgiveness | Tagged Forgiveness, Sin, Unforgiveness | 21 Comments

The Unforgiving Servant – Matt 18:23-35

Published November 9, 2010 | By Cornel

Matt 18:23-35 is one of those passages that has been used for years to beat believers over the head to get them back under performance based legalism. I have been asked about this passage quite a lot, as many people have used it when they try to argue that you can lose your salvation and be thrown out of the kingdom if you don’t do certain things. Lets look at the passage and then just ask 3 simple questions…

Matthew 18:23-35 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (ESV)

Whenever this story is read, people identify God as the king and themselves as the servant. God forgave you your sins just like the king cleared the servant’s debt. Then they say that if we don’t forgive, God won’t forgive us and deliver us to the ‘jailers’ or tormentors in another translation. Whenever we study a piece of scripture, it should always be looked at through what happened on the cross. The cross changed everything. It especially changed the way God relates to us, which is important in understanding this parable. I said I would ask 3 simple questions, so here goes:

Are you saved by mercy or grace?

There is a difference between mercy and grace. We are saved by grace through faith (Eph 2:8), not mercy. The king in the parable showed mercy by forgiving the servant’s debt out of pity. God didn’t save you out of pity, He saved you out of love. Big difference. If the king had shown the servant grace, he would have not only cleared the debt, he would have given the servant enough money to never be in debt again.

Are you a servant or a king?

Surprisingly enough many believers would rather identify with being a servant instead of being a king. The scripture is clear that Jesus no longer considers us servants; we are friends, brothers, kings and priests. As He is, so are we in this world (1 John 4:17). So in this story it would be more accurate if you identified yourself with the king. You are in a position to be merciful, to see the debts people have and to clear it.

Does God relate to you based on your works or His Son’s works?

Since we are now the righteousness of God in Christ by faith, God relates to us based on Jesus’ righteousness, or the degree to which Jesus can do right. He no longer looks at our unworthiness, because through the atoning blood of Jesus, we have been made forever worthy. Whenever we think God would ignore the blood of His Son and again look at our own righteous efforts, we are saying Jesus’ blood was not enough.

So please don’t buy into this legalistic manipulation trap that God is going to hand you over to tormentors if you don’t forgive others because if He did, He would be guilty of murdering Jesus. “But Cornel, this Jesus talking about the Kingdom?” Yes, I know. And he told this story before He went to the cross. God’s kingdom didn’t start at the cross. His kingdom has always been there. Before the cross the relationship we had to the kingdom was based on the old covenant performance based laws. Do good, get good. Do bad, get bad. After the cross the relationship we have to the kingdom is based on the finished works of Christ. If you relate to God based on the law, then you are on your own, you have no mediator and He would have to keep His word and punish sin. But if you are saved, you relate to God through Christ, your Mediator, and God again would keep His word that He would not treat you according to your sins because He has punished His Son in your stead.

So the choice is yours: Do you want God to relate to you based on your righteous ability (Old Covenant), or Christ’s righteous ability (New Covenant)? You can’t have both because old and new don’t mix.

Grace to you all!

Cornel